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Monday, July 2, 2007

Can God Forgive Me? I did not send money for my dad's birthday because I went gambling and I lost.

A few weeks ago, was my dad's birthday. I think he just turned 57 or in his late 50's. Prior to that, I promised myself that I would send him money so he could somehow celebrate his birthday at home with our family members and some of his friends.

You have learned in some of my posts that I used to hate my dad a lot. When I was younger, he projected an evil face which I always got scared off. Everytime the idea of him coming home drunk would catch my attention, I would tremble in fear and so with my brothers. I hated him for spending all his money on his friends and thus my mom would always end-up problematic of what to feed us for our meals. My brothers and I were malnourished and thin then. I hated my father for physically and verbally abusing my mother hundreds of times. I hated him for he almost killed my mom twice as far as I remember.


The first attempt to end my mom's life happened one afternoon. My mom was babysitting my youngest brother then while cooking some rice in the dirty kitchen. We were readying for dinner. When my dad arrived home, he was so drunken that he started shouting at my mom. I don't remember the cause of the trouble but I can vividly remember the scene where my mom was running down a slope with my baby brother on her back supported by a blanket around her body. My dad hurled a knife in her direction and she almost got stabbed. Luckily, the knife just got into a piece of her clothing. My mom, had to spend the night at a relative's house at that time. I forgot if we ever had dinner then but my brothers and I stayed with our uncles and aunts.

The second attempt happened when I was a university student. He came home drunk and he started arguing with my mom. I was already lying in bed at that time. I heard that his argument with my mom heated up and I got out of bed. To my surprise, my other brothers also got out of their beds. My dad just hit my mom on her head with a mug and she was bleeding profusely. Carried away by the sight and the situation, I and my brothers started taking it on our dad in chorus. I remember beating him a piece of hanger I grabbed around and my brothers throwing away their jabs and punches.

When I went home a couple of months ago, I realized that my dad has indeed changed a lot. He doesn't drink that much as he used to. Though he is jobless at the moment. He is no longer a headache to my mom. I felt delighted knowing the fact that the evil-faced dad, I used to hate is now a renewed man, so on my way back to Manila, I told myself, that I would make my dad happy by sending him money for his birthday. I know he is penniless most of the time being a jobless person. Whenever he celebrates his birthday, I know it is the happiest moment of his life. This is his chance to show his singing prowess, the chance to meet his friends, and the chance to have a taste of his favorite meat-Dog Meat. I am wondering how his birthday went by.

1 comment:

Dora Renee' Wilkerson said...

What a cute doggie!!

Dora Renee' Wilkerson