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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I Am An Operations Manager And I Have no Savings for God's Sake

I never wanted to be a braggadocio. My family raised me to learn how to be humble all the time. Actually, I really have nothing to brag about. Some of you may have noticed how I underscored my being an operations manager of the company which I work for. The point is that I feel like I want to let other people know that I am not a worthless fellow. That despite being an undergraduate student, I can prove myself in a certain degree(even If I don't have a degree, hehehe). Way back then, people always looked down on me. I feel discriminated when people ask me what course I finished. I felt like undergraduates had no right to get good jobs. People would give you a wry look upon learning that you didn't finish your studies. In 1999, I started working as an ESL Teacher to Korean students in Baguio City. I remember, I was the only undergraduate teacher at that time. I made it in the roster of teachers because I passed the test and the Interview administered by the school officials. It was a small International School. Since Koreans give so much value to education and that they tend to belittle or not trust undergraduates, I had to hide then my being undergraduate. Ironically, I was one of the best teachers in that school. Many students loved me and my way of teaching. I was supposed to be given a higher position but my Fellow-Filipino teacher who assumed a better position at that time was against it and she blatantly told the administration that I didn't deserve to be promoted. She worked her ass out and I was ripped off that career opportunity. I was so upset then but somehow that motivated me to do better and prove myself to others. At one time that Fellow-Filipino teacher held a meeting. We were talking about how to properly deal with our students. She mentioned that I was unprofessional because I treat my students as my brothers, my playmates, and that there was no distance at all between a teacher and a student. She insinuatingly mentioned that teachers go to reputable schools and that they don't just learn from the streets. I was hurt of course, knowing that I didn't graduate and that most of my knowledge was based on my experiences outside the school. To cut the story short, I was denied the promotion. After a few months, I filed my resignation and it was a really hard decision I had to face because it pained a lot of students to see me leaving. I applied as an ESL teacher in a better school around the city. It was a brave attempt since none of my fellow teachers at the first school I worked for passed the exams and the interviews. Luckily, I passed and I felt vindicated. The thought is, I want to let people know that a person's worth and abilities shouldn't be based on his diploma alone but his ability to deal with different kinds of people. Look at me, I can guarantee myself of a good job as compared to the jobless graduates we have in the country.

Now, as an operations manager there is yet another battle I have to face. That is my addiction to gambling. I have been working for more than seven years as a teacher and until now, I don't have my own bank account. I have no savings. That is all because of gambling and perhaps overspending. Often, I would ask myself, is this what an operations manager should do? I can't find the answer yet. For now, what's left for me to do is to pity myself everytime I lose all my money at the Casino-thus unable to support my family for sometime nor text them because my phone intermittenly gets pawned. When will I ever learn. I am getting older and I haven't learned yet from my mistakes. I will just let the day pass.

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