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Friday, September 7, 2007

Jaundice Days

The next weekend came. I had religiously been taking the medicines my boss sent me. Some had to be altered though as they were not available in Korea, nonetheless they pretty much looked very similar to the ones prescribed by my doctor.

"I will send you medicines, those are really effective ones. Those are the best medicines for hepatitis according to my physician friend," I remembered my boss telling me once as we had a short talk on Windows Live Messenger a week ago just before my day off. I was overwhelmingly emotional when he had to tell me to sleep in between my broken schedule. Some of my friends had asked me how I felt. They assumed I would easily exhaust myself and feel tired because of the disease. I kept myself strong and luckily I managed to keep up with all my classes as usual.

"Do you see my eyes yellow?" That expression had been very famous for the first few weeks among my students. I was very conscious of my jaundice. Looking at myself each time I woke up in the morning had been a habit. I would examine my eyes and see if they would ever go as white again as before.

My students kept my hopes and I was auspicious, "Avoid looking at yourself in the mirror and examining your eyes everyday,"said Rachelle. "You just have to be patient and your eyes will get back to normal," she added. "You have to eat a lot of grilled fish and foods rich in protein," said another student.

I was positive of the virus and positive still that everything would fall into its place. While patiently waiting for any changes and development, I had to face the fact that my lifestyle would have to adapt to my health condition. Until then, I had to avoid my usual hangouts. I missed playing duckpin bowling, my drinking sprees, and chit-chats at the cafeteria with Ate Liza and her helpers.

Whenever it was time for lunch, I had used to just go to the cafeteria's kitchen and salivate at the different sets of meals there. I choose what could satisfy my appetite and leave, I wait for a few minutes and "Renee" (one of the helpers) would deliver them at my door. Dishwashing was never a problem. That was prior to me contracting the disease.

Things changed after, I started avoiding the cafeteria, made a phone call whenever I felt hungry, told them to put my meal in small plastic bags. I didn't want to use any of their utensil to avoid contamination. Oh, how I missed the gossips and talks while caffeinating myself with Ate Liza and Renee.

Being visible to the people I know was hard to deal with. I avoided going out. On the weekends, I would rather stay at home which my neighbors and my housemates thought was unusual. A lot of people really had no idea what the disease was. Apart from being advised to separate my eating utensils and stuff as the virus could be contagious and could infect anyone through saliva, I remember the doctor telling me to avoid any sexual contact to prevent the spread. I was worried that someone might get the virus from anywhere else and I might just end up as the scapegoat.

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This really is "a cross to bear". Fortunately, you have the type hep which is curable. It seems like you are still able to work. I hope so. Abstaining from sex will make it mush more meaningful or just plain enjoyable when you can have it again. I hope things go well for you, regardless.

Good Boy Gone Bad said...

I understand that you're having hard times to cope with your situation, you're worried that you'll become a scapegoat and stuffs, i mean those just makes you a very considerate person. Like what you're advised, I believe you'll recover and start your daily activities again. Just stay strong and positive, everyone knows you'll be cured, including a foreign friend like me. :)

~Deb said...

My prayers go out to you. Though, I'm a bit confused...I didn't know that you could get hepatitis through saliva. I can't imagine what you go through... I agree with gay bipolar guy---it definitely is a cross to bear.

Hang in there! Thank you for sharing this. You're brave to be so candid!

Nick Phillips said...

Hang in there Buddy. Be strong, look at the positive side of things and you will deifinitely be on the road to recovery soon.

Lordmanilastone said...

thanks deb, i am confused as you are, thanks for the thoughts, ...

Lordmanilastone said...

my usual thanks to nick, cedric and staggo, you always make things easier for me, there's really no better way of thanking you than to express it from the bottom of my heart, you always make my day and i feel peace and security that there are a lot of people who care...

Fruit species said...

Really hope everything will gonna be fine with you. Whatever it is, it's out life path that's been map out. Remember, eat more fruits:)

Lordmanilastone said...

Yes, fruity, you are right my friends always tell me to, the things is sometimes I would prefer eating junk foods...I have been eating a lot of bananas these days though...:)

~ Swan said...

Your blog has touched my heart honey and after reading the latest entry, I found that I just couldn't tear myself away and ended up reading all the others.

Two thoughts come to mind:

* Stay positive in mind and heart;

* Surround yourself with people who are positive and care about you.

If I were there with you, I'd lay your head on my lap and stroke your stressed brow, just as any mother would do for her boy.

Stay strong and eat well,
~ Swan


To swan,

You also touched my heart by the fact that you took the time to read my posts. You have interesting insights and thanks a lot for the advice. I will surely do so. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. You don't know how much I am inspired with your words.