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Monday, October 8, 2007

Reassurance


After coming out of a nightmarish dream where I saw my boyfriend bitten by a dog, I got up at around quarter past 10:00 am today. The sun was up and its rays were sending me tiny pricks through the glass window, perhaps reminding me that it was time to start the day. So I did.

First, I turned off the small electric fan at the foot of my mattress. Then, I checked the wound on my leg, rolled a little tissue paper to wipe it with just in case the pus was still there.

This wound kept me paranoid last night. I had lots of delusions when I informed my boyfriend through chat that it could be leg ulcer. I even asked him to see the grotesque pictures of leg ulcer on the net. I kept bugging him though I know he was having a good time chatting at the comfort of our room back at home. Remember, we just bought a pc and he seems to be having a lot of a good time with our hackneyed dial-up connection.

"You know, I just surfed the net and it turns out that the wound on my leg is leg ulcer." I said. "Go check this out," I added as I typed in the link in the chat window.

"That can't be leg ulcer, maybe, just some evil spirits made fun of you at the baptism because you resisted going home when I asked you to," he argued.

We kept punching in our opposing thoughts and views through messenger about the petty wound on my leg until he suggested that I should see a quack doctor. I surely gave it a thought though dismissed the fact that an evil has been invoked upon me.

We both logged off after that, said our repetitive goodbyes and prodded myself to sleep after spending some time in front of the computer monitor.

Before I plunged into unconsciousness, I had had to recharge my cellphone and that reminded me of Fred's text message earlier that same day.

Deep friendship
doesn't depend
on how many times
friends spend time together
or how happy they are...

it's the time
when you never see them
and yet keep on believing
that the friendship
will stay forever...

I haven't seen Fred in a while.
I have never played duckpin bowling in the past weeks. He has been texting me and he never got a reply. I thought I would lose him. I tried to believe he felt so bad I have taken him for granted.

It was not my intention to involve my friendship with my personal problems but I just can't help. There are times, I seem to care less when I am at the valleys of my life. Sorry is not enough for the friendship I have found in him, but he should know that his thoughts, memories, and presence are resident in my heart.

Sorry is not enough Fred...Sorry is not enough...

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7 comments:

Parisukat said...

Fred's right deep friendship doesn not depend on how many times you see each other... deep friendship is a part of your very soul and every beat of your heart. True friends would not even wait for you to apologize for in their heart they will understand.

But I guess you may have to take a lil time to show you care, just like how you need to water the plants to keep them alive...

Friendship is like a seed that we plant until it sprouts and grows.. Many dies at the eraly stage, Some stop growing, some never grows at all..

But special friends remain and grow old with you... and even when they're gone, they'll remain forever. And I wish you this kind of friendship. :)

God Bless!

LORD MANILA STONE said...

thanks miel for the wisdom, and just as you mentioned that friendship is like a seed that we plant until it sprouts and grows, i am sowing another seed which i hope i can nurture for a long time^^

femikey said...

helo my friend! u been tagged on the topic (the magical carpet ride) check it out http://femikey.blogspot.com have a good day and happy blogging!

morinn said...

I hope it's not a leg ulcer! :S

shiera said...

hey.. how are you? Have you tried seeking for medical help? I really do hope that's not leg ulcer.

Take care...

Nick Phillips said...

Hey Buddy, hope that leg wound heals soon. Do go get it looked at by a doctor or something ...

LORD MANILA STONE said...

morinn, shiera, and nick,

Thanks a lot for the concern. My leg is getting better though I procrastinated again and didn't see a doctor. It just seems to recurringly gets swollen, so far it is getting better.^^