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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Moving Forward


It was like a dream that thrilled my passion to auspiciously look ahead of my future. But when my dad told me he could no longer maintain my schooling, I had to succumb to despondency. I felt totally dejected.

My farewell was dragging me to abandon my ambition. My heart was crying. I knew I did my best, that I could prove myself better than most of my classmates, that my teacher adored the mental capacity I was trying to better. It was after all a fanfaronade, a parade of my wit that would end up in a tragedy of sort, intercepted and underappreciated.

That bitter year of 1999 somehow lost my momentum to regain the positive thoughts I had for studying. There were attempts of going back to school, some scholarship grants, a close relative who volunteered her support for my education, drilling my own pocket when ESL teaching paved its way for me-all these proved futile though to still aim for the diploma which everybody thinks is the measure of one’s worth in the society.

Why do people look down on me if I have no diploma and I can speak English better than they do? Why do people look down on me If I have no diploma and they ask me to work on their essays and thesis? Why do people look down on me If I have no diploma and I always have to teach them how grammatically incorrect their sentence construction is? Why do people look down on me If I have no diploma and I can speak English with eloquence sounding like an American Native with the twang of an Igorot Americanized during the World War II? Why do my fellow teachers look down on me if I have no diploma but most of our Korean students choose me to be their teacher, give me the highest score for teachers’ evaluation, and place me as the top teacher in the “Big Five”? Why do these teachers with doctorate degrees look down on me If I have no diploma and I toppled them when the school master conducted a rigorous grammar exam for teachers at the Korean School where I worked at? Why did I have to leave them trailing tens of points behind me If I have no diploma and I deserved the promotion but never got it? Why do people look down on me if I have no diploma and I have been working for almost ten years now while many graduates bum around and can't even make it to the mushrooming call centers in the country? I have jumped from one job to another and I wished I had two bodies to grab more.

The foregoing above should suffice as to why I need to harp on this, that I am an undergraduate student. No one wanted to call me a professional and I am taking this opportunity to call my self one.

This is my blog anyway. I am also proud to say that I am gay.

17 comments:

awannabe said...

oh no... more big words.

Hey, I've been meaning to ask you what an igorat is?

Seriously, I don't know what all the hype is with being educated. I am and
have yet to be satisfactory employed. I've felt like a failure in people's eyes. But I have to remind myself that they can't see the big picture. God does, and he still has faith in me.

Don't let other peoples opinions get to you. It only will hinder your dreams. Follow your heart... right?

JeanGrey said...

one reason why I keep on coming back here it's because I can always relate sa mga stories mo... I never realized na undergrad ka ng lagay na yan... undergrad din ako.... but unlike you na magaling.... don't worry kahit maraming ganyang tao sa paligid na sinasabi mo.... I am one of those people naman na mataas ang tingin sayo :) Good morning! :)

black_mamba said...

Don't let people like that ever bother you, they're probably just intimidated. Inggit lang sila lol....

Your last sentence is enough to make me even prouder than I am of you ;)

P.S. Of course you can call me SIS :) One question though, ano naman itatawag ko sa iyo? Ke haba hbaha ng Lord Manila Stone, maawa ka naman sa akin lol........

Jeremy Steele said...

One interesting trend I've noticed lately is a lot of companies, especially in the IT field, are beginning to add on the magical "or equivalent experience required" words to the end of job postings. I suspect a lot of companies are realizing that experience, not a piece of paper, is what makes a person valuable.

Loz said...

I have a piece of paper that says I am educated but have learnt over the years that it really means nothing.

LORD MANILA STONE said...

@awannabe=thanks a lot for the encouragement, Igorot is a native in the northern part of the Philippines...one of the minorities...

LORD MANILA STONE said...

@jeangrey=salamat sa pagbisita, lol, pareho pala tayo, pero at least nakakablog tayo di ba? i have been reading your blog and hindi ko rin akalain na undergrad ka hehehe, tama nga ang sabi nila, ang diploma ay papel lang, marealize sana ng karamihan na importante rin ang experience lalo na sa mga companies na naghihire ng employees...^^

LORD MANILA STONE said...

@sis-you can also call me sis, hehehe? or lord if that sounds better...salamat sa pagboost mo sa confidence ng lola mo hehehe

LORD MANILA STONE said...

@jeremy and loz=thanks a lot for the comments, i shall always remember as I have always that experience and not a piece of paper is what makes a person valuable...i was just trying to relate actually how frustrated i was at the way people i have worked with deal with undergrads...

morinn said...

your english is perfect and i have always noticed this. that's what drags me here. your writing is witty. diploma or not, you have a great potential which very very few possess! ;)

Parisukat said...

because... they feel small and unworthy of the diploma they got knowing that an undergraduate is so much better than they are! The actually just look down on you to make themselves feel superior and to cover up their own insecurities. Don't let them get into you, Let them suffer!

black_mamba said...

Okay then, Sis. Keep that chin up ;)

Cyberpunk said...

the answer to your why questions: those people are insecure of you.

when it comes to job ads, i get pissed whenever i see ads that require diplomas for menial jobs that even kids can do. and jobs that have age requirements. agh!

things are changing nowadays, esp work involving computers. employers are giving more credit to experience and passion instead of the educational background.

shiera said...

I agree with black_mamba... inggit lang sila :)
It's really a sick society. Why does a diploma matter when you excel at what you're doing?
Same with those people who are so arrogant because they came from the "big" schools... they believe that they're better than the ones who came from schools they consider as "inferior"... so sad... and so infuriating.

Ganda said...

you know what they say about being a graduate of UE, i.e. University of Experience? that's true, and i believe you are an academic excellence awardee from that university.

you write like a pro.. so u must be a pro, paper or no paper...

More power 2 yah! ;)

Lizeth said...

oh my! :) thanks sa pag-share...napa-smile ako sa lola and sis...and there is nothing wrong with that!! saludo ako sayo :)

keep up the good work! mas magaling ka sa kanila..so bahala sa buhay nila!

take care!

mangelnoah07 said...

Your strong....

I can see that by the way you made this post, especially that last sentence... it must have taken you a lot of courage and faith to face the sad reality, to gather yourself up, to stand and have this blazing hope to move on...

I'm wishing the best for you... Tama si awannabe....

God still has faith in you... keep building your faith in Him...