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Friday, November 2, 2007

Come and Go

My calmed mind gives me a slice of disturbance as my fingers press each key on my keyboard. It could have been easy but it wasn't.

Some of our teachers have come and gone. My heart screams silently as I try to ponder on the why's. Was there something I never did that I should have done to have avoided the sudden separation they never expected from the company? Two of our teachers just had to leave, sadly. I was not in control, or was I just careless to let them go?

Earlier this month, Teacher Anna had to go. Knowing her for more than 6 months colored the working relationship we had. All the while, I thought it would be a happy ending but the private talk I had with her to relay the top banana's decision was a paraprosdokian twist.

"Teach, I am sorry to say that your last day is on the 15 of October." I was straightforward, trying to avoid that temporizing might just pain her the more. I know how much she valued and showed passion in her job. I know she did her best, but to my boss her performance might have been mediocre. She had to step out and it wasn't my choice. If only I were the boss.

"She only teaches three students and she seems incapable of impressing more students to enroll," my boss told me before he laid his decision.

Sometimes, it's hard to be solely depending on what the boss has to say. I wanted to hear what the students said. I wanted to know their feedback. Were they satisfied with her or not? I have no idea. My boss is in control, and he indeed is once he turned down my suggestion of conducting Monthly Evaluation for teachers to know where they stand and overcome their shortcomings and weaknesses.

Then just the other day, it was also Teacher Shirley's last dance. It was the least expected my boss could resort to since she had been working her ass painstakingly to process our bills, teachers' application, payroll, permits, and whatnots. She also teaches students and assists teachers other than those mentioned salient tasks.

My impassive character was absent, the susurration of my emotions kept bugging me seeing those two teachers for the last time. I hope their talents and skills find new homes which will welcome them dearly and nurture the gifts each of them uniquely has.

As for me, I still seem recondite, quiet in the puppetry. I need time to rediscover my self, my purpose, my role, their expectations. Often, I and my boss don't see eye to eye about so many things. This company needs general cleaning and major renovation. This is me but I can't wait sleeping on it.

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Jerad Kaliher said...

One of the biggest parts of life is learning how to let go. It's difficult, but if you constantly worry about who might leave you next you'll end up having a terrible life.

I try to focus on who I have with me that day and cherish them and the moment.


hi jerad

I think i should take it that way, life has so many twists, the absence of permanence should help us grow, indeed^^

monaco said...

i had the same problem when i was working. the emotional stress of letting go and telling your employee that somehow he didn't meet the grade. one of the hardest parts of the job.


yes mon and sometimes it becomes more difficult when there is no transparency especially of the higher power in the office seems uncooperative^^